Hilarious Observations……..

• I changed my car horn to sounds of gunshot. People move out of the way much faster now. Am at peace driving wherever I want.
• Gone are the days when girls used to cook delicious food like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers. They are better of that way.
• I decided to rename my bathroom to GYM. I feel so much better saying I went to the gym this morning than just taking a bath.
• Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins. After that life is sure a boxing ring.
• I do not need Anger Management. I need people to stop irritating me. They have become a pain in my ass.
• When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment. Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation. Feels lazy to get up and go about my little chores.
• Wife in a very sweet voice: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?  Husband in his quiet voice: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
• I do not have grey hair. I have just started having ‘wisdom highlights.’ I am just very wise and intelligent now.
• I have lost my mind and Iam going crazy. Am pretty sure my spouse took it and ran away with my precious sensibility.
• Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.  They are a handful and there are always arguments who is the better referee.
•  
• Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.  My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. There is no question of any choices given to me.
• Man: Is there any way for long life?   Dr.: Get married.   Man: Will it help? Dr.: No, but then the thought of long life will never come to your mind.  You will definitely want to cut your life shorter and shorter.

Maria’s New Hat…………

This is a beautiful story of Maria’s New Hat that freed her from the way she thought of her life in general. She was living a life of boredom. It was not the hat that freed Maria, it was the quality of her thoughts:

‘Maria lived with her mother in a small apartment in New York.  She was not too young or too old, not too short or too tall, not particularly beautiful nor ugly.  She was just an average woman. She worked as a secretary at a large company and her life was pretty much boring and mundane.  No one at work paid any attention to her. Those that did, considered her to be as boring as her life was. 

One morning, on her way to work, Maria saw a new hat shop that opened down the street.  In a spur of curiosity, she walked in. In the shop was a little girl and her mother, who came to pick the girl a hat, and another customer who was trying on hats.  Maria also tried on a few hats, until she found one she liked.  She put it on and it looked nice. First to notice was the little girl: ‘Mommy, look how pretty that woman looks with the hat on.’  The mother said: ‘Ma’am, I must say, this hat just looks wonderful on you.’  The second buyer also came to look: ‘Ma’am, you look lovely with that hat.’  Maria went to the mirror.  She looked at herself, and for the first time in her adult life, she liked what she saw.  Smiling, she went to the counter and bought the hat.

As she walked outside a new world revealed itself to her, she never before noticed the colors of the flowers, or the scent of the fresh air, the sound of the cars and the people sounded like an harmonious melody.  She walked as if drifting on a cloud with a song in her heart.  When she passed by the coffee shop she walked by every morning, one of the young handsome man called out to her: ‘Hey darling, looking good. Are you new here? Can I buy you a cup of coffee? She smiled shyly and kept walking, floating on her cloud.

When she got to the office building, the doorman opened the door and wished her Good Morning.  Never before had he even noticed her. The people in the elevator asked her the floor she needed and pressed the button for her.  The people at the office, as if seeing her for the first time, flattered her on how lovely she looked today.  The manager asked her out to lunch to talk about how she felt at work. When this magical workday was over she decided to take a cab home instead of the bus.  As soon as she put her up two taxis stopped.  She took the first one and sat in the back seat.  Thinking about the miraculous day she had and how her life changed, all thanks to the new hat. 

When she got home, her mom opened the door. The sight of Maria took her breath away. ‘Maria’, she said surprised, ‘How beautiful you look! Your eyes are all lit up like when you were a little girl.’ ‘Yes, mother’ said Maria.  ‘It’s all thanks to my new hat, I had the most marvelous day.’ ‘Maria’ said her mother, ‘What hat??’ Maria panicked.  She touched her head and saw that the hat that changed her life was not there.  She did not remember taking it off in the cab, or at lunch, or at the office. She thought back to the store where she had bought it.  How she noticed it for the first time when she put it on, paying for it at the cashier’s and she also remembered painfully now, how she put it on the counter, to get her purse out to pay and how she forgot the hat right there on the counter.  Then she walked out to the street, hat-less yet glowing.  It was not the hat that changed her, it was her thoughts that brought these wonderful changes in her life and she saw herself as a New Positive Maria who everyone seemed to appreciate.’

Our thoughts can enslave us into a horrible bondage or liberate us towards sweet freedom: to be, do, or have anything we wish for. Change your thoughts and see the difference in your life.

A Wandering Monk………

He was a silent river

Going along the current

A constant movement

A rare flowering shrub

He was a song of the birds

A fusion of the purest gold

He was a wandering monk

Footloose and fancy free

Roots of the Wise Trees

Could not drag His pace

Though he was enlightened

He continued to be penniless

Nothing was special about Him

Veiled in a cloak of stillness

Laughter a flooded energy

His light stretched far and beyond

When He speaks His Silence blooms

Penetrating the Mystery of Words………..

 

 

Great Sayings……….

-Seeing in the Present: Our EYES are placed in the front for us to see because it is more important to look ahead than to look back. One has to live in the ever flowing precious present moment instead of the past which is already a memory. 

-On taking risk: Never test the depth of the RIVER with both your feet. You will always have the risk of falling down in the river first and would have to swim to get back to shore. 

-On Love: Fall in LOVE with the right person who enjoys your madness and loves you the way you are even though you are not perfect. Not an IDIOT who forces you to be normal. 

-On Investment: Do not pull all EGGS in one basket and never depend on a single income. Learn to invest wisely and with a clear perspective, to create a second source. 

–On Expectations: HONESTY is a very expensive gift. Expect it from people who are trustworthy and make you feel good. Do not expect it from cheap people who will try to deceive and cheat you. 

-On Spending: If you buy things that you do not need and have an urge to keep on accumulating, soon you will have to sell things that you really need. Learn to spend intelligently and not foolishly. 

-On Mistakes: We used pencil when we were small but now we use pens because mistakes in childhood can be erased but as you grow older they cannot be rectified. 

Start everyday with a New Hope, Leave bad memories behind and have faith for a better tomorrow. Past is a Waste Paper, Present is a Newspaper and Future is  a Question Paper. Come out of your past, control the present and secure the future.  

 

 

We walk by Faith and not by Sight….

A beautiful story of Two Horses that is so apt with the Title: ‘We Walk by Faith and Not by Sight.’ 

Just up the road from my home in Wisconsin is a  vast field with greenery all around, and the owner of this place takes care of horses.  He has a huge stud farm. One can see so many horses running and galloping around though there are two horses with a little difference. They have an amazing story to tell of their own.  From a distance, each horse looks like any other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite astounding.

Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. If you stand nearby and listen, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field.

Attached to the horse’s halter is a small bell. It lets the blind friend know where the other horse is, so he can follow him wherever he goes. As you stand and watch these two friends, you will see that the horse with the bell is always checking on the blind horse, and that the blind horse will listen for the bell and then slowly walk to where the other horse is, trusting that he will not be led astray.

When the horse with the bell returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, it stops occasionally and looks back, making sure that the blind friend is not too far behind to hear the bell. Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need.

Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives. Other times we are a guiding horse, helping others who are lost to find their way home. Good friends are like that. You may not always see them, but you know they are always there when you need them.  Listen for the bell when it calls you next and it will surely resonate back. Remember to be Kinder than necessary. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of a battle or another. For we always walk by Faith and not by Sight.

Man’s Best Friend……..

I came across this beautiful poem from some Unknown Poet and would like to share it with all of you.  The title of this Poem is so Apt that there are no words that I can say. It goes like this:

When God had made the earth and sky,

 Beautiful flowers and the strong trees,

He then made all the lovely animals,

The fish, the birds and bees.

And when at last He’d finished,

Not one was quite the same.

He said, ‘I’ll walk this world of mine,

And give each one a name.’

And so he travelled far and wide

And everywhere He went,

A little creature followed Him

Until its strength was atlast spent.

When all were named upon the earth

And in the sky and sea,

The little creature said, ‘Dear Lord,

There’s not one left for me.’

Kindly the Father said to him,

‘I’ve left you to the end.

I’ve turned my own name back to front

And called you DOG, my trusted friend.’

DOG certainly is world’s best friend

A man can ever have and ask from God

An unconditional lover he sure is……..

 

Clever Sign Boards………..

A sign in a shoe repair store: ‘We will heel you, we will save your sole, mend your shoes and we will even dye for you. Simply leave everything to us.

At an eye clinic: ‘If you do not see what you are looking for, do not be perturbed, you have come to the right place.

On a Plumber’s truck: We repair everything, what your husband fixed.

On an Electrician’s truck: Let us remove your shorts.

In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke coming out of the doorway, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.

At a Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.

At the Electric Co: We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you do not, YOU will be de-lighted.

In a Restaurant window: Do not stand there and be hungry and look like a starving man, come on in and get fed up.

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: Drive carefully and cautiously, we will wait for you forever.

Sign on the back of a Septic Tank Truck: Caution – This Truck is full of Political Promises.