Win Over People with Kindness……..


I read this wonderful Old Chinese Wisdom and the saying went something like this: ‘One can win over and influence people the best with gestures of kindness and compassion.’  The title ‘Win Over People with Kindness‘ is apt for the story that unfolds below: 

‘A farmer in ancient China had a neighbor who was a hunter, and he owned these ferocious and poorly trained hunting dogs.  They usually jumped over the fence frequently and chased the farmer’s lambs away. The poor lambs were very scared of these dogs. The farmer asked his neighbor many times in a mild way to keep his dogs in check, but this fell on deaf ears.

One day the dogs again jumped the fence, attacked and severely injured several of the lambs. The farmer had enough and went to town to consult a judge who listened carefully to the story and said: “I could punish the hunter and instruct him to keep his dogs chained or lock them up.  But you would lose a friend and gain an enemy. Which would you rather have, friend or foe for a neighbor?”

The farmer replied that he preferred a friend. “Alright, I will offer you a solution that will keep your lambs safe, and also ensure that you still remain a friend of your neighbor’s.”  Having heard the judge’s solution, the farmer agreed. Once at home, the farmer immediately put the judge’s suggestions to the test.  He took three of his best lambs and presented them to his neighbor’s three small sons, who were besides themselves with joy and began to play with them.

To protect his son’s newly acquired playthings, the hunter built a strong kennel for his dogs and never left them loose. Since then, the dogs never again bothered the farmer’s lambs.  Out of gratitude for the farmer’s generosity towards his sons, the hunter often shared the game he had hunted with the farmer. The farmer reciprocated by sending the hunter the cheese he had made.  Within a short time, the neighbors became good friends.

A similar Western saying too goes like this: ‘One catches more flies with honey than with vinegar.’ Honey is so sweet that flies would definitely get attracted. In this same scenario, let us all make an effort to be more polite and loving when we speak to anyone who we meet in our journey of life and not make rude and sarcastic remarks at every opportunity we get especially with our families, friends and colleagues.  

Let us all live amicably and let the lamp of our hearts be lit with the flame of pure love, joy and peace. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Be Humble like a blade of grass, more tolerant like a tree who is always eager to serve others and show them respect and gain their friendship. By lifting others up, we too soar higher.

110 thoughts on “Win Over People with Kindness……..

  1. How do you show kindness in a situation where someone else’s actions has caused so much damage to you? Is it not amicable to seek restorative measures for yourself? If you don’t, are you loving yourself especially when the culprits have shown you their stance by causing damage?

    Liked by 4 people

    1. There is no question that when the culprits have shown their animosity and cause damage one has to resort to such acts then what is the difference between you and him. Why cause more damage and get where. In these situations it is always best that one can win over people with kindness and compassion and it sure will take its time but one can surely win over people. Why do we want to live in a world of hate and rage. I know nothing is easy but these stories are trying to tell us what we can do in such situations.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. I’m not speaking in terms of showing rage. I’m speaking in terms of taking legal action to recover from damages. Is that the same as being vengeful or showing rage? If so, how? To me being vengeful would be try to defame someone’s character the same way mine was. Instead, I just want to recover damages. Showing rage is pick a fight of physically seeking to harm someone. Engage with me on your perspective.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. No no not at all why show rage but if you are talking from the legal point of view of recovering the damages that you have suffered then of course you have to go thru legal ways and I am not an authority on this. From my limited way I can just say that one can understand how you must be feeling and going thru but sometimes circumstances are such that you cannot do anything but wait and watch and let things be the way they are or see that these things had to come your way and there was a learning in this too and may be things may get better for you. May be what had to happen had to happen and now you can look over at the positive side of things. Sorry this is just my perception, I am not a legal expert. Can understand what you must have gone through and can sympathise with you too.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you Kamal for this story so filled with wisdom and kindness. The situation could easily have descended in fights that would destroy both farms and men. Wish there were more wise judges like this about.


    Liked by 3 people

  3. Thnk you so much for this post.. I was having a hard time.. but I think after reading this I have found a solution to my problem.. the best line was “treat everyone in the same manner you want to be treated”.. thanks a lot again ..

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh Hi Bella yes in this crazy rain it was horrible and there were lot of people who suffered and no place to go home too but luckily nowadays people are very supportive and many stayed back at offices. I stay very near my office and so I did not have a lot of problem. Thanks so much dear Bella for your kind words. Ya will definitely go and have a look right now.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ya ya so many people have got lost, so many lost their lives and trains stations were horror scenes and roads all jammed with floods everywhere. I stay in South Mumbai which is pretty safe and we are not having so many problems like our suburbs which is built recently so when no infrastructure is done all have to suffer. Sad situation and this is life in short, Bella we are all left at the mercy of our politicians. Even we received so many pictures and everyday our newspapers are full of these stories. Sorry for people who lose their lives and have to go to so much trouble.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Yes Bella but cannot help it have to live where we are born. You know He says this is all my divine plan, you just take my name and do not worry. All this is a one big giant wheel and merry go around, so we have to simply watch and feel sad for our fellow beings and as He says keep the faith and be at peace within and enjoy life which is so beautiful and best though of course very easy to talk but with daily practice and reading such wonderful books, meditation, stories learn to understand Him.

        Liked by 2 people

      1. “Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory. ”

        Words from a prayer by General Douglas MacArthur.

        Liked by 2 people

  4. I love stories, thank you for sharing this. Kindness is so many things… Today I was the recipient of two act of kindness. It was such a blessing. The question asked above about how does one show kindness to those who’ve hurt us is one I’ve asked myself. Sometimes I think walking away from hurtful people is the kindest thing to do, for ourselves, and for them. It’s a way to stay at peace. Sometimes space allows time to think, heal, etc. Stories get people thinking about tough topics. Again, thank you 🙏🏻

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes absolutely true and agree totally with your words. Sometimes we need to give space and time to people all will be good in the end. Being kind to people is so good it comes back to us too. These stories are eye openers in themselves for us, Leila. Thanks dear.

      Liked by 1 person

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