A sign in a shoe repair store: ‘We will heel you, we will save your sole, mend your shoes and we will even dye for you. Simply leave everything to us.
At an eye clinic: ‘If you do not see what you are looking for, do not be perturbed, you have come to the right place.
On a Plumber’s truck: We repair everything, what your husband fixed.
On an Electrician’s truck: Let us remove your shorts.
In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke coming out of the doorway, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.
At a Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.
At the Electric Co: We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you do not, YOU will be de-lighted.
In a Restaurant window: Do not stand there and be hungry and look like a starving man, come on in and get fed up.
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: Drive carefully and cautiously, we will wait for you forever.
Sign on the back of a Septic Tank Truck: Caution – This Truck is full of Political Promises.