Humour with a Twist……

-I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom, until they are flashing behind you at the back of cars.

-The last thing I want to do is hurt you in a most horrible way, but it is still on my bucket list. I will surely have my way.

-My mind isn’t twisted and perverted, its strategically bent and curved in a precarious way in several places.

-Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak and cause fools of themselves.

-Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit- salad and spoiling its awesome taste.

-To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

-I’m great at multi-tasking, I can waste time, be unproductive and procrastinate all at once.

-Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are pretty sexy. 

– Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity because I am allergic and break out in sarcasms.

Enjoy these simple humours with a twist. Smile and laugh heartily at the sametime. Always be happy and joyful and do not have a garlic face cause no one likes the smell of it.

It is a divine art to always look cheerful and it sure helps others.