Check Out the Humour…….

• Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, let go of what you can’t change. To be old and wise, you must first have to be young and stupid.
• Women live longer than men because shopping never causes them heart attacks but for men paying their bills do.
• Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I quietly went inside and brought for him a glass of water to drink.
• If a girl says: ‘I don’t like shopping one bit, it bores me to hell, then immediately marry her without asking yes or no.
• Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
• A boss is usually like a diaper, always on your ass at all times and usually full of shit.
• Hi Sweetie! asked Mom: ‘How was school today’. Sweetie very cheekily says: ‘You can read all about me on my Facebook, Mom’.
• A man can achieve success if he toils hard every day but a woman can achieve success if she cries the loudest.
• If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive and would want to flirt with me.
• My wife and I were happily married for twenty years; then we finally met.
• Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they’re at home when you wish they were not because they can be a pain sometimes.
• A rose is always a rose whether it’s in a garden pot or grown in a garden. Same way my friend is always my best friend whether he is in Central Jail or Mental Hospital.
• An old man had 10 hair on his head. He went to a Barber shop. The Barber in an angry voice asked: ‘Shall I cut it or count?’ Old man smiled and said: ‘Colour it’. Life is to enjoy with whatever you have with you.